Too often I see posts of how to become a writer or why you know you are talented in the fields. So to poke fun out of all the optimism out there this post will depict five reasons you will never be a writer.
Sure the Nazis were evil, Zombie Nazis were scary, but Grammar Nazis posses invaluable skills that allow them to write without ever misplacing their commas or confusing their there’s with they’res or even worse their your’s with you’res. That same annoying teacher in class who would correct each and every sentence in our essays are the same ones we must aspire to be. If words are the brick in our texts, than grammar must undoubtedly be the mortar.
2. The Stories Stay in your Head, not on Paper
I must admit this is one of my most common vices. I am a day dreamer and I will go weeks without my fingers ever touching the keyboard, but instead my mind is painting scenes and voicing narratives that will keep me up most of the night.The most important thing for us is to focus on the objective, we are writers after all and not just thinkers. The goal is to write (well type) our stories onto the page, before they fade with our memory and no one is able to read them.
3. You’ve got Thin Skin
If only writing was a solemn craft. They tell us its such a lonesome singular activity just man (or woman!) and their craft, but we know that is not the truth. Stephen King says write the first draft with the door closed and the second with the door open. Once that door is open the words of the outside world begin to whistle into our ears. Yes they are talking about your writing, yes your baby! But they’re not talking about you. Be relieved. Don’t be like the writer that had a 300 comment argument on the blog of a reviewer due to their outcome on the book. Smile and take it on the chin- critiques hurt, but they will hurt less and less each time.
4. You Listen to the Voice in Your Head
Listen to the voice in your head? You know the voice don’t you? The one that tells you that you’re writing is good enough, the same one that pleads with you not to release your baby to the world. We all know what it sounds like. I once was a shy writer when I was younger, but now I understand that in order to pursuit the writing life the world must be greeted with your craft! If I had listened to the voice in my head my short story “Cycles” would never have met the digital page and this blog would long have been deserted somewhere in the e-graveyards of cyberspace. Be strong, be modest, but be confident.
5. Procrastination is a Hobby
Hi my name’s Damian and I’m a procrastinator. It’s true! I have the habit of being distracted by anything shiny or digital and being pulled away from the task at hand. I thought high school was the blame for this, but judging by my amazing (not) GPA during my first year of college I realize it just is something I must overcome. The greatest writer may miss their deadline and be nothing more than the common Joe if the hobby of procrastination becomes more of a career.
Any of these sound familiar? Leave the comments below 🙂